Do you ever find that life comes in waves? As though it’s a continuous flow of circumstances that is ever changing. It’s good times and bad, lessons, experiences, triumphs. It’s never knowing what tomorrow will hold. These waves last for a period of time, and then slip away. The tide changes and whole new wave crashes up to shore.
I haven’t gotten very personal about my struggle with anxiety for awhile but it’s definitely something that I still battle. For me it’s something that comes and goes depending on the current. I read this post last week and it really put into perspective my tendency to hide from my anxiety because sometimes facing it is to painful. My pride gets in the way and as a momma, we never want to appear weak. We always want to appear as though we have it all figured out but the reality is sometimes we don’t and that is perfectly okay.
Our minds are a powerful thing. We can convince ourselves of pretty much anything. I go through times when I worry about my health and that of those around me. I think about death and imagining my life without the rocks in my life. I worry about car accidents, and Josh flying for business, and being home alone. I think about Landyn and if she’d be ok if something were to ever happen to me… my mind goes there.
Yesterday my mom and I drove down to see my sister and I just laid it all on her. My fears, my struggles, my dreams. I shared with her my goals for tomorrow and where I see myself in 6 months, a year, 5 years from now. She first told me that I was smart because I was thinking ahead and being cautious, but then she reminded me to “let it all go because worrying doesn’t change the outcome”.
Let it all go Lindsay.
headband: Queen Bee Barrette
There is still so many things I want to accomplish in this life. I don’t want to be afraid to take risks. I want to grow my family and build my life around what matters most. I want to be a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend and forever protect everyone in my circle. But the reality is somethings are out of my control. What is in my control is living in joy and finding outlets and ways of dealing with my fear and anxiety. It’s a work in progress you guys. It’s a battle between me and my brain and not allowing myself to go there. It’s trusting the process, knowing the tides are ever changing, and being able to smack fear dead in the face.
“Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable, or to dare greatly. Whether the arena is a new relationship, an important meeting, our creative process, or a difficult family conversation, we must find the courage to walk into vulnerability and engage with our whole hearts”. –Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
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