My Life in 250 words

I am participating in this lovely gal’s blog everyday in May challenge.

Today’s topic is “the story of your life in 250 words”.

Born Lindsay Nicole Roberts on May 7, 1983. The big 3-0 is next week guys!

I’ve been born and raised in sunny southern California. I grew up with what I thought to be the perfect childhood. A dad in the movie industry and a stay at home mom, a big house with a white picket fence, and the nurturing and love that every kid deserves. Until one day on my way to 2nd grade, my mom told me that her and my dad were getting a divorce. It rocked my world. I’ve moved more times than I care to count so roots were something I have never known, yet always longed for.

I was privileged enough to attend an all girls school for junior high and high school and it was there that I found my friends for life. I learned some of my biggest life lessons through my college years. I had my first run in with death at 24, and that forever changed the way I view life. August 5, 2009 was the best day of my life thus far…Landyn was born and made me a momma. My heart was stretched in a way I never knew possible and she proves day after day to be my most challenging gift. I spent last year picking up the pieces from some curve balls that were thrown my way, redefining myself, traveling, and creating a life that I never imagined possible. Writing, fashion, and health define my passions and this space allows me to share a piece of each one with the world. In December I crossed paths with Josh and wake up each day feeling so incredibly blessed to call him mine. Life is good you guys. If this is what happiness is, it has never felt so good.




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4th of July

 

It’s safe to say our 4th involved basking in the sunshine, time spent with family, and of course fireworks. While I’ve never considered myself much of a patriotic person, your perspective changes when you have children. You find yourself displaying a flag and having that conversation of what it means to be an American. Ask Landyn, and she will tell you we were celebrating our countries “Happy Day”. And celebrate we did.

Most of all though, becoming a parent comes with a desire to create tradition. I have fond memories of my childhood spent on the lake for the 4th of July. While I am busy picking up the pieces of the past few years, I hope to continue creating those memories for Landyn. I want to give her a foundation where she to can remember what matters most in life…family, friends, creating memories.

How did you spend your 4th?

A letter to my younger self

letter, lessons learned, life experience,

Dear Lindsay,

This is your older self speaking.

A more mature, wiser, self.

If you could just listen and follow what I tell you closely, it will bless you.

You will face many trials in life, both happy and sad.

 God is going to test your strength in ways that will blow your mind.

But you will carry on, and be better for it.

Throw your insecurities out the window. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Don’t waste your time on the boys you meet in college. They will take advantage of you and leave you jaded.

Focus on finding yourself.

Find out what makes you happy and chase it.

Don’t sacrifice yourself. Stand up for what you believe in.

You were made for a purpose, that only you can do.

Get help for your past so you don’t become a subject of your environment, and carry this into a marriage.

Choose your friends wisely. Surround yourself with people you want to model your own life after.

Don’t let people mistake your kindness for weakness.

Never put your happiness into a man.

Follow through with your education.

Chase your greatest passion.

You will loose a special friend and come face to face with death for the first time in your life.

You will forever be changed. You will quickly learn how fragile life really is.

Trust that God has a plan for your life.

Be patient, because when you turn 24 you will meet your husband.

He will come into your life at your weakest point, but he will save you.

In the course of a year, you will be blessed with a new marriage, a beautiful baby girl, and a new house.

It will rock your world. 

But hold on tight little Lindsay…

2 1/2 years in, your marriage will become very sick.

Acknowledge it. Accept help.

Look within for your happiness.

You will have many sleepless nights little Lindsay. You will cry more than you have ever before.

But have faith because God moves mountains.

Continue to fight.

Listen to your heart.

Eventually, you will look back and see God’s purpose for this awful situation.

Something much stronger. Richer. A greater love.

You are a strong women and will persevere through the ugliest of times.

Cling to Him and that baby girl.

She is your world and gives you your greatest purpose.

Humble yourself.

Forgive and be forgiven.

Clean everything out.

Rebuild yourself the way you wish you had been all along.

Practice patience.

Things happen for a reason little Lindsay.

You might just be called to be the voice of reason on the other side of things, and help someone thru their struggle one day.

It will all make sense soon enough.

Love,

your older self

My Secret, TOLD!


I have a secret that has been wanting to come out for some time.
The truth is, I am scared…
Will you judge me?
 Think of me different?
Feel sorry for me?
I originally wrote this post back in March, but haven’t had the courage to PUBLISH my post.
…….
Not many people know this about me, because I am a pro at masking my feelings.
But today,
I choose to share with you, in hopes that you can better understand the person that sits behind this keyboard.
This is me. raw, vulnerable, REAL.
I’ve struggled with painful insecurity.
That’s right, me and every other girl
{you may be saying to yourself}.
THIS is my story:
When I was in the second grade, my parents got divorced. If this isn’t the biggest heart breakfor a child, I don’t know what is. They tried to make it work (4 times) for my sister and I, but were unsuccessful.Throughout a good majority of my adolescence, I would spend weekends with my Dad, and cry my eyes out the entire time because I missed my mom.
This lead to a great deal of anxiety.
Anxiety about where I would be going next…
Who would be picking me up from school?
What would my friends think?
As a result, I started biting my nails and getting HORID cold sores from STRESS.
I remember having a panic attack on the way to school one day. I could not breath and wasn’t sure I would live to see my 9th birthday.
My past caught up to me in high school.
I was painfully shy.
I had my group of friends, but never ventured outside of that.
I would know the answer in class, but was to afraid to raise my hand.
I didn’t have enough confidence to try out for dance (my dream), even though it was always natural to me.
Eating became an issue. I have always been a small girl, but I was CONVINCED I was fat. I would NOT be seen in a bathing suit.
I remember being JEALOUS of my best friend because she had the perfect family, perfect house, perfect life. Why couldn’t I have all that?
My parents would buy me things because they felt guilty.Going to an all girls school helped me hide behind my mask. I didn’t have to compete for a guys attention. In fact, I didn’t have to deal with the opposite sex PERIOD! I wore a uniform so I didn’t have to dress to impress.In college, there were days (more often then not), that I would drive all the way to class and not have the COURAGE to get out of my car. I felt UGLY. FAT. GROSS. AWKWARD. I failed an ENTIRE year of school because I was too insecure to go to class.My first LOVE came around my junior year of college. Sure I had dated before, but this time I gave my heart away.
For the first time in my life, someone told me I was beautiful and smart and took notice in me.
Unfortunately, I was vulnerable, weak, destructive…
{recipe for disaster}
I was looking for LOVE in all the wrong places.
It took me to hit rock bottom before I realized I needed HELP!I am sure you are waiting for some sort of recovery story, but that I haven’t quite mastered.
What I can tell you is that I am a constant work in progress.
I have learned to take it one day at a time.
I still have days where I feel less confident than others.
Days where I’d like to call in sick.

insecurity, anxiety, secret, lindsay roberts Sara Driscoll Photography

What I can tell you, 
is my sweet baby girl, has been the best medicine of them all. Getting kisses from her, is all I’ve ever wanted in this life. The day I became a momma, most of this INSECURITY went out the window. Truly the best gift I could ever ask for.

Today,
I strive to be more bold in my choices.
To shrug things off.
NOT CARE what others think.
Not take MYSELF or life too seriously…

Why did I reveal such a secret from my life?
Because this blog is ME.
I don’t want to hide anymore.
I want you to know where I come from.

So many blogs paint a picture of “Perfection”,
and we love them for it.
That’s not me though.
My life isn’t an orderly home, 5 course meal every night, and perfectly well behaved children.
In my life, the puzzle pieces don’t always fit perfectly.
Yet, somehow, we manage.

This blog has been such a blessing for me. It has allowed me to reveal more of myself to you in hopes of helping just one person going through a similar circumstance. Revealing such an intimate part of my life is THERAPY for me.  I like to believe I am an open book. My story is my gift to you! THAT is why I do this!