Greyson’s Birth Story

On December 28, 2017, our hearts tripled in size. Our baby BOY Greyson was born. It was the smoothest delivery yet. Well kind of.

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I went in for an induction the morning of December 28th. My doctor promised me a “Nordstroms delivery”, and it was just that. I checked into my room, put on a hospital gown, answered what seemed like one million questions, and got hooked up to some pitocin. The contractions started coming and I immediately asked for an epidural. I had a natural delivery with Landyn (not on purpose) and I knew I would never do that again. I thought getting the epidural administered was the worst part of the whole process.

We started the pitocin around noon and three pushes later, at 4:01 PM, baby Grey was born.

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Those hours following any birth are so surreal and slip away SO fast. You want to remember every smell, every sound, every touch, every moment. It so easily becomes a blur with the lack of sleep and flood of emotions. I knew going into this birth, that this would be my last, so it made the whole experience even that more bittersweet.

Around 7:30 that evening, Greyson, Josh, and I settled into our postpartum room. Little did we know this would be the calm before the storm. Around 8pm, I started having bad cramping. The cramps came on like contractions. Timing about 2 minutes apart. I told my nurse and she assured me this was totally normal as cramping intensifies with each birth. A few minutes later, I looked down to see myself sitting in a puddle of blood. I freaked out and called for my nurse. She came in, assessed the situation, called my doctor, and ordered a Methergine injection (used to prevent and control bleeding from the uterus that can happen after childbirth). 5 minutes later, same thing. Blood everywhere. I started to panic. This time my nurse brought in the charge nurse and by this point I was doubled over in pain. I was passing blood clots the size of golf balls. They began weighing each one. Then one larger. The nurses started yelling for help and for someone to call my doctor. They administered another Methergine injection. I was sweating and shaking at the same time. As I laid there helpless, I saw the fear in everyones eyes. The whole mood shifted. It was so heavy on me.

By 9:30, they were able to gain control of my bleeding and I was able to rest assured. They checked my blood counts and ordered me a lot of rest.  The medical termonology defines this condition as a “postpartum hemorrhage”. Has anyone had a similar experience? I know it is super rare.

The days and months following Greyson’s birth have been nothing short of a dream. He has completely stollen our hearts. My baby making days are officially over friends.

xo

Being a girl mom…

Being a girl mom means dresses, bows, and patent leather shoes,

an overload of pink because you can, and that shabby chic bedroom you always dreamed of.

It means dance class and dress up, and long ringlet curls.

Being a girl mom means you have a forever best friend and a built in shopping buddy.

{Yes it starts this young}…

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And with everything, comes milestones and rites of passage. And opinions…. boy do they let their little voices be heard.

For the past few months, Landyn’s been asking to get her ears pierced. I wasn’t sure if she really wanted them pierced for her, or if she liked it because her two little friends at school had earrings. So we waited it out.

I was a child of the 80s where we were practically born with bling in our ears, but with Landyn it wasn’t something that I cared much about. I wanted to wait until she showed interest and I felt was ready.

And today Landyn and I made a date of it and went down to our mall and got her ears pierced.

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You guys, she was beyond ready. She sat in that chair today, picked out her “sparkles” as she calls her earrings, and watched the Claire’s employee prep her completely mezmorised. She had her brave face on and didn’t even shed a tear. I’ve never seen her smile so big. She felt so special and this was exactly what I wanted today to be about. Today was about her and letting her express herself. It gave her a little boost.
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This afternoon after I overloaded family with photos of our day, I was talking to Josh about how this girl thing is all I know. I grew up with a sister and my first born is a girl. It’s second nature to me. We talk about future and having a family of our own one day, and naturally he thinks we’d automatically have all boys. And while I know I’d love anything we were blessed with, I wouldn’t even know what to do with boys. For now I am a girl mom. I love reliving my childhood through Landyn’s eyes and I’ll continue to soak up all these girly moments.
So proud of my brave girl.
xo

Christmas Spam

Good lord are we cramming in the holiday activities. With one more weekend before Christmas, we are busy spreading holiday cheer. I have yet to send out our holiday cards and I’m no where near finished with my Christmas shopping… but I will get there.

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We attended the most magical Christmas party this past weekend filled with Dickens carolers, caroling in the back of a flat bed truck, high school choir performances, Santa, and picturesque decor. Landyn was in absolute heaven. This was the epitome of the Christmas spirt and it felt good to share it with my little family.

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Growing up, my parents always made Christmas a magical time for my sister and I. When I think back on the days leading up to Christmas and Christmas morning, I am flooded with happy memories. I can still hear the music boxes on my mom’s snow globes and smell the gingerbread ornaments I made in first grade that adorned the tree. I vision the wreath I made out of a coat hanger and plastic bags that my mom proudly hung in the house. I remember “A very special Christmas” playing on our record player in the background. Record players were a tad before my time, but my mom always broke it out during Christmas time. I remember my momma’s breakfast casserole every Christmas morning. I remember the butterflies on Christmas Eve and waking up way before dawn.
I also remember when my parents split when I was in second grade, and how it felt to share my time. Splitting holidays and spending the day driving from house to house. I would always wake up Christmas morning to the excitement of new toys, and I had to leave them all behind half way through the day to go see my Dad. I remember missing my mom and feeling guilty for leaving her behind. It’s these harder feelings that has me sensitive to Landyn’s situation and paving the path a tiny bit different. I’ve been in her shoes and my heart aches for her. So I do what I do best, I protect her.
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IMG_3858Landyn’s leg warmers: Ooh La Leggies 

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I’m sure I’ll be back with some more Christmas spam before the season is over. I hope you are all healthy and well.

xo

…….

Leaving you with some Groopdealz picks I am all over…

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1 / 2 / 3

Shop Groopdealz in time for Christmas.

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a childhood home

Growing up, I always lived in a track community. I had a little backyard with a swing set and a playhouse. A pool was a luxury. I rode my bike around my cul-de-sac.  My best friend lived two doors up and we’d shout from our drive ways asking if the other could play. The neighbors were family. And to me, I had the whole world.

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Living on 3 acres behind gates on a ranch style home is different. So awesome, but different. Sometimes when I’m sitting outside watching Landyn play, I’ll imagine myself as a kid doing life here. How might things be different? Might my imagination have been more wild? Might I had become more self sufficient? A little tougher? Would I have had to work a little harder to meet neighborhood friends? Would I be the same “me” I am today? I watch Landyn as she finds her groove here and think about all the memories she has ahead. The house where she rode a two wheeler for the first time. Where she fell and scrapped too many knees to count and climbed her first tree. Where she had birthday parties and her first sleepover. Where she had that family dynamic for the first time in her little life. As parents we dream big for our littles and want to give them every avenue of opportunity possible. I tell Josh all the time, “how lucky she is…how lucky WE are”.

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Landyn’s leggings and necklace c/o Now Yours, bow c/o Aidies Hideaway

Will this be the place that she considers home? Will she look back and be flooded with happy memories like I do as a kid? She’s already doing life so differently than I did, and that is perfectly okay. We may have to drive into another neighborhood to do our trick or treating, venture outside the gates to meet friends, and drive 8 miles to a grocery store, but the open space makes it so worth it.

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