Being a Mommy to THREE

A lot has changed since my old blogging days. I went from one kid, to a full blown circus. And while I miss that extra “ME” time one child allows for, I wouldn’t trade being a mommy to THREE for a minute.

There are many days that my sanity is compromised. By 5:00, I am ready for a tall glass of wine or a SOLO Target run, because we all know that is pretty much heaven on earth. But seriously, the minute I step out, just me, I miss my littles back home. It’s like a part of me is missing. The constant whining and crying, temper tantrums, diaper changing, spit up covered shirts, bottle making, endless loads of laundry, homework helping, taxi driving, boo boo fixing, juggling act becomes your identity. And you embrace that.

Adult conversations become a rarity and are broken between the chaos. Friendships become more about quality and less about quantity. I can count my best girlfriends on one hand and each of them allows me so much grace.

One of the areas I struggle with most during this season is letting go of perfectionism. The past few months especially with all the remodeling we are doing in our home, I find myself falling short. We went two months without a kitchen and I was washing dishes for our family of 5 in our bathroom sink. We ate out most meals, and our pantry was a plastic bin container. Currently we are living with concrete floors until we can put in the hardwood. Nothing gives me anxiety more, then unfinished projects. I find myself apologizing to guests because my home isn’t “pinterest worthy”. Why do I do this? Why can’t I be okay with the right now?

As I am in the midst of summer vacation with my oldest, I saw this quote and it breathed new life into me. “We get 18 delicious summers with our children. This is one of your 18”. If thats not perspective, I don’t know what is.

We will never get this day back. Tomorrow our children will be a little older. I am trying so hard to embrace the crazy that is right now. To simplify. To say no to more things. To prioritize. To put my phone down and be present. Right now I am in the trenches. Life with three kids kicks my butt. But I know if I blink, I will miss it. So for now, I am taking it day by day. I am giving myself more credit and  only doing what allows. Because, a clean house is over rated.

 

Check, check…

Is anyone there?

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Happy NEW YEAR!

As you all know, I’ve taken a solid two year break from regular posting on this space. Since then, a lot of life has happened. Many of you probably thought I completely retired. So did I.

The truth is, that I’ve missed it here. This space has been calling me back for some time, I just didn’t know how I should break back into it. Blogging is a funny thing. It’s an online journal for the whole world to see and being the “private” person I consider myself to be, sometimes it just didn’t jive well with me. I felt vulnerable more times then not. Sometimes judged. But as we all know, no story is perfect. We are all a work in progress and saved by grace on the daily. With that being said, I’ve made a commitment to myself to get back into “blogging”. If for anyone, myself. Weather its pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, I feel most alive when I can express myself through my words.

So there you have it. Im brainstorming my thoughts and hope to bring you lots of picture heavy posts from the heart, DIY’s, a little bit of fashion, and of course party planning because lets face it, we all love a good party.

I’ll be back soon. Promise.

March 13, 2015

We have a DATE and VENUE.

On March 13, 2015, Josh and I are GETTING MARRIED in Malibu, California.

I couldn’t be more excited to marry my best friend.

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This entire process has been completely surreal and something I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl. Stepping into wedding gowns, picking colors, choosing my best girls to be by my side, interviewing vendors to create our picture perfect day, planning our life as husband and wife. An extra bonus to this whole journey is getting to share it with my sweet girl Landyn. She is so excited for “our wedding”. There is nothing better.

I’ll share more details as we finalize more. You can follow my Pinterest wedding board “Becoming Mrs. Baltimore” to see my inspiration for our “rustic glam” themed wedding.

It’s been years of up’s and down’s for me and I couldn’t feel more confident about Josh and I’s future. I’m SO excited to close my chapter on “life as a single mom” and embark on this journey as one. Life has been good to me.

We are ENGAGED!!

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My week took a VERY unexpected turn.

Thursday afternoon, Josh took me to lunch in Malibu where our story first began. The spot of our first date, where we shared our first kiss. He got down on one knee, got as sappy as I’ve ever seen him, and with four words, gave me my happily ever after. I knew from the first time we met, he was different from the rest, and with time proved that our gut doesn’t lie.

Josh is my forever and I am so excited to announce that we are ENGAGED!!

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The past 4 days have been a complete whirlwind. Life has come to a hault as I let it all sink in. I’m soaking up every feeling, every touch, every word of love and encouragement. I am on a high and I never want it to end.

 I’m engaged to a man that makes me a better version of myself. A man that stretches me to be better, challenges me, loves me unconditionally, and most importantly loves my daughter like his own.

I came across this post today, when I first introduced you to Josh, and my words couldn’t be more spot on from the start:

“I’ll never forget our first date…The minute our eyes met as I walked towards him standing up against his truck to greet me. The smile he flashed me. Our first hug and me realizing how attractive 6’3″ is. The smell of his cologne. The black peacoat he wore to impress me with his sense of style that I haven’t seen since. Him opening the car door for me, and every door there after. Effortless conversation. The way he made me laugh. The way he looked at me. The way his hand fit perfectly in mine. Our first kiss”.

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I’m on cloud nine.

……

Landyn came home from a week away at her Dad’s and Josh and I knew exactly how we wanted to share the news with her. Josh gifted her with a special pearl necklace and asked her permission to marry “Mommy”. She of course answered with “YES, I want a sister”. She followed it up with a “Joshy is the best, we love him” and the biggest hug and kiss her little body could give him. My heart became mush and just like that, the past 5 years became clear as day.

It feels so good to be in it for the right reasons. To do things the way I always envisioned for my life. I get the opportunity to have my Dad walk me down the aisle for the first time and ball my eyes out as we have our father/daughter dance. To have my best friends and my sister as my bridesmaids and dress shop with my Mom. To be surrounded by 100 of our closest friends and family as we promise each other ‘till death do us part. And to have my baby girl by my side through it all. It feels good.

I’ve waited a long time for this and I am thanking GOD for the detour life gave me. I finally got it right.

Thank you all for your love and encouragement across the social media board this past weekend. We have read every single comment and from the bottom of our hearts, thank you.

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Let the wedding planning begin!!!

I love you Josh Baltimore. I can’t wait to become your wife.