Twice a month, I drive an hour and a half south to Long Beach to pick up Landyn from her dads. It’s like being a kid on Christmas morning getting her back after just two days away from me. I’ve shared a little bit about my struggle with the time shared aspect of our lives, and it has not gotten any easier. If anything, it’s proven to get more difficult the older she gets. Landyn has become quite vocal about her feelings and what she wants and having to miss out on occasional parties and family functions because she’s spending the weekend out of town, isn’t fun for either of us.
While the drive to Long Beach is anything but enjoyable, the prize at the end always makes it worth it. Sunday at our exchange, Landyn handed me a best friends necklace she had picked out over the weekend, and said “this is for you mommy, cause you are my best friend”.
I may never take it off…
I believe as parents we all have the responsibility to work on those heart strings. Being a girl momma, I am especially sensitive to that. I remember what I needed at different stages in my life and I try my best to narrow in on particular things with each year that passes. I remember being 4 years old and looking forward to our nightly routine when dad came home from work in time for dinner. So Josh, Landyn, and I have dinners as a family and Landyn thrives off it. I remember how comforting it was knowing my mom would be picking me up from school everyday, and how empty I felt when she went back to work when my parents divorced and I had to go to after school care. So I’ve done everything in my power to own my own business and stay home with Landyn so I can be the first one in line at preschool pick up.
Landyn’s dress c/o Matilda Jane
Landyn will always be taken care of. I may not always say the right things or strive to do better the next day, but I will go into each day with my best foot forward.
My four year old girl is a non stop box of chatter. She asks questions. “Tell me about that momma”. Some questions so hard that I don’t even know how to answer them like why my last name is different than hers. Others, I respond to in laughter as I would my best friend. And then theres the questions on faith and where Jesus lives or where babies come from, and I quickly realize I have some work to do.
I hope Landyn knows that every family is unique and she is loved well. That regardless of last names, alternating weekends spent out of town, or being my only child she will always be a piece of my puzzle that completes me.
Leelala is on: